Photo by Gilbert Sape

 

A wedding is a day, a marriage is a lifetime

I offer packages of 8 weeks of 60-minute premarital counseling sessions for $640 (an $850 value) to provide you with the most current research and tools you will need to lay the foundation for a long and satisfying marriage or life partnership. Using the world-renowned Gottman Method, I help you and your partner learn how to avoid the 4 Horsemen of Failed Relationships and how to apply the 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work into your own relationship. I describe the scientific and evidence-based Gottman Method here.

My premarital and pre-commitment counseling sessions are secular and non-religious, and I welcome all worldviews and cultural backgrounds. LGBTQ couples are welcomed and encouraged to participate. Payment plans are available. Not getting married but want to prepare for life commitment? You can definitely participate. (Note: If you and your partner are struggling with serious issues like trust, commitment or repair; I recommend my couple therapy services where I include assessment and attention to these particular issues. This program is not suitable for couples experiencing current domestic violence or addictions; if these are an issue, please contact me for a referral for more specialized therapy.)

 What you will learn:

  • How divorce is predicted
  • Identify how to manage conflict
  • Repairing and replacing unproductive communication
  • Discuss future goals
  • Nurture fondness and admiration
  • Turn toward each other instead of away
  • Let your partner influence you
  • Solve solvable problems
  • Cope with typical solvable problems
    • Combining finances, budgeting and long-term goals
    • Housework: negotiating a shared space
    • Future dreams and goals: Where to live, buying a house, careers, travel
    • Do you both want children? Parenting expectations and roles
    • Sex and porn, what is acceptable or desirable in the relationship for intimacy and closeness?
    • Relationships with in-laws: leaving one family unit and forming your own
    • Coping with daily stress and electronic distractions
  • Overcome gridlocked problems
    • Continuous areas of disagreement
    • Understanding each other on a deeper level 
    • Family histories, personalities and traumas that affect you most deeply
  • Create shared meaning and rituals of connection for a stronger future
  • Understanding one's emotional experiences and how they contribute to needs in the relationship

THE SECRETS BEHIND HAPPY MARRIAGES

I am trained in the internationally-acclaimed and leading Gottman Method Couples Therapy as a Level I and II Gottman Therapist, and a Gottman Seven Principles Program Leader. Specifically, using decades of research about relationships, in premarital counseling I teach couples what behaviors to avoid that are known to cause breakup and divorce, and instead show you specifically what contributes to marriages that report being highly satisfied and long-lasting. There are stark differences between these relationship outcomes. Not only do I provide couples knowledge of what does and does not work, but I also show you and your partner the process of just how to incorporate these behaviors into your relationship through exercises, homework and personalized therapy sessions. 

Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.
— Ursula K. Le Guin

WHY PREMARITAL COUNSELING IS THE BEST wedding planning YOU CAN MAKE

Premarital counseling is one of the most invaluable investments you can give to your marriage and life commitment. So many people wait years into their marriage to tackle tough issues that have come up along the way and remain barriers to relationship satisfaction. By this time, resentment has built up which must be addressed first before solutions can even be discussed. Why not be proactive and skip the headache, and the danger of putting your relationship at risk?

Instead, set the foundation for a strong, smart relationship by using research-proven ways of communication, conflict management and discussion of important issues so that you can develop a healthy system of relating and connecting. Not only will premarital counseling help you prevent unproductive ways of relating with your spouse, but most importantly it will begin a trend of building healthy and mutually satisfying habits that include fondness, admiration, appreciation and friendship. Based on research of thousands of couples, many of whom have been very happily married for decades, in premarital therapy I help you make these changes attainable.